"Now we have Scotland. Scotland is a large district north of England, its capital in Edinburgh is Edinburgh. In Glasgow it is Glasgow - Glasgow is noted for cheap clothes and early closing - Edinburgh for early closing. Scotland is composed of mountains - lochs and golf-links, and is divided into two parts, the Highlands and the Lowlands, of course the Lowlands is the higher of the two.

Scotland is very proud of the bridge which crosses the Forth, of course that's nothing really in comparison with the one which crosses the Firth, the Scotch people strictly observe Sunday, they won't allow thunder on the Sabbath in case it breaks it 9 10ths of Scotland is surrounded by water the other 10th being whisky."

CORPORAL WILFRED HAROLD RAMSDEN